Newborncare.com

Last week I opened my email to find a message from the marketing coordinator of a website called www.newborncare.com. Having stumbled upon my blog on parenting she suggested that my readers may be interested in the topics on their site. I took a few minutes to review the site and I agree!  Especially since two of my friends just had babies this week (congrats to Julie & Becca), the information on www.newborncare.com is very practical, not too anecdotal, but helpful in terms of resources, how-to, and general support for welcoming a newborn into your life.

Its been quite a while since I've had a newborn and I haven't blogged much about the experiences I had early on-mostly because those early years seem more like survival vs. parenting. However, the marketing coordinator suggested I share a link to their latest topic which was about choosing Godparents for your newborn.  If you're a new parent the article is definitely worth reading. If you aren't a new parent but you have struggled with making a decision regarding Godparents then it's also a good read.  Or if you just want to see other perspectives on choosing Godparents, read it too! The irony for me is that this is a topic that I purposely avoided blogging about because "even when you follow all the advice in the world and follow your heart" people's feelings may get hurt if they aren't chosen as Godparents and that is that!

For us (husband and me) choosing Godparents had everything to do with the essence of a Godparent which is to be a role model in the religious tradition in which we are choosing to raise our children. So this meant choosing people who are currently practicing Catholics.  When our first child was born, we chose my husband's sister & brother-in-law as Godparents. It was a win-win that they not only were immediate family but also current practicing Catholics. Things got a little more complicated (for others) when we had our second child. My husband didn't have any more siblings and my only sibling & brother-in-law are not Catholic.  So we looked to our closest friends, of whom my husband is the God Father of one of their daugthers. They were the next perfect choice as Godparents for our son. To us it was still a win-win because in many ways our friends are as close as our siblings.

It did not matter how many times I explained how we viewed the role/purpose of a Godparent. My sister thought she should have been a Godparent no matter what. Since she knows other "Catholics" who have chosen non-Catholics to be Godparents, I should have done the same. I should have compromised my values so that she could have a special title. Nothing I could have done or said on my end was going to change her opinion. As if being an Aunt isn't good enough.

So just know that even if you follow all the advice in the world and follow your heart, you still may end up hurting someone else's feelings or feeling disrespected as a result.  Some parts of parenting aren't easy. This can be one of them. It is important though that you are firm in your beliefs. Some day I'll explain to the kids why their Godparents are who they are.  My folks picked their best friends at the time...people who weren't actively religious (neither were my parents) and people whom when their friendship faded, so did the relationship of Godparent to God Daugther.  Being a good parent means you do your best...and think about how & why you are making choices on behalf of your kid(s)...not just at the time and hope it all works out. In our case, I feel certain we chose the right Godparents in both instances for the right reasons but sad that our parenting choice wasn't fully supported.