Its been a long time since I've blogged about parenting...and oh boy has parenting changed now that the kids are 9 & 7. Or should I say 9 going on 15 and 7 going on 11! Both kids we have finally reached THAT age where... from here on out, they will remember....everything! I don't know about you, but my childhood memories started around 3rd grade which doesn't mean theirs will but more than likely, we've reached THAT age.
Parenting up until now was done with the best of intentions, with the best I knew how, given the resources at hand. However, it was also done with a little bit of "well, they won't remember this anyways." Which meant if their birthday cakes weren't perfectly decorated, their hair perfectly parted, if they didn't bathe every day or if I yelled a little too loud, then they likely wouldn't remember that I wasn't bringing my parenting A-game.
Those days are over. I've tried not to fret about this. Instead I've used this realization as a "check" in regards to my behaviors as a parent. I've put a little more thought into the way in which I mediate sibling arguments, I make sure to make eye contact with the kids and tell them "I love you" at least once a day. I fess up to taking Halloween candy while they are in school, I say "yes" to all requests to say the rosary. Believe me, after working all day, taking care of the house, hauling the kids to their activities, making dinner, etc...sometime the last thing I want to do is pray the rosary!
The kids don't realize any of this. They don't realize that through this relationship of parent & child, they are helping to push the boundaries of my ability to parent. They are showing me how strong I am, how much I can give, how deep I can love. In return I hope to show them the same.
Tonight I had an Ah-ha moment. It was almost an out of body experience. It made me feel incredibly special (for no particular reason) and grateful to be their parent. The moment confirmed for me that I'm on the right parenting path.
In many ways it wasn't that unusual. I was laying on my son's bed while the kids were getting ready for bed and in my son's case, cleaning his room. He found a notebook he had been using as a journal and decided to write an entry. Of course I told him he needed to write about how great his Mom is, while he insisted he write about how much he loves Pokemon! My daughter came in, laid on the bed with me. The three of us just talked and giggled. I thought about how much I love spending time with the kids.
I love spending time with my kids. I've always loved spending time with my kids. It is who I am. That's my A-game.
