Last month I asked if any readers were interested in sharing a parenting story. I have the honor to share Rhonda's story with you today:
Thank you, Christy, for opening up your blog page to
me. Here is a little of my story.
God finally did bless me with two wonderful boys, but my
road to motherhood was not easy.
I was a “tom boy” growing up and I did not relate well to
girls wanting to play dress up and Barbie dolls. A good game of kick ball and maybe a bike
ride around the block…now you’re talking!
I had an older brother and maybe that had something to do with it. For someone so full of life, and active as I
was, it so frustrated me that I could not find that magical answer for when
people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. You know that answer that would make them
pleased and one that would make me smile on the inside too. Couldn’t life just stay like this – fun and
carefree? I was born with one arm. I prided myself on proving people wrong when
they thought I could not do something. So
why was this question so hard? This
adult world seemed a bit scary and I had no idea what I would do in it. I did envy others who knew exactly what they
wanted to do. I love my parents dearly
and do appreciate all that they did for me.
However, as no parent is ever perfect, I feel that guidance was a little
lacking when it came to helping me succeed in school as well as planning and
preparing me for my future.
Well, I did come to know, eventually, what I wanted out of
life, but it was not enough for today’s woman.
I felt the push of our culture to become a strong, independent, career-minded
woman. The desire to maintain a certain
standard of living was there too and so just being a wife and mother surely was
not enough.
So, I went to college.
Growing up, this path was kind of just expected because my parents held
degrees, although we really did not talk about it. Fortunately, I found my future husband during
this time. He was my complete opposite
in so many ways. Where I was weak, he
was strong and vice versa. Some said it
was a match made in Heaven and we were in love.
I was certain that he was the one thing to put me on the road to
happiness and perpetual wedded bliss.
Yep, it would not be long now before ALL my dreams would come true.
I was ready to start a family from day one, but
understandably my husband wanted to hold off awhile. It was only a couple years waiting before he
gave the green light. We both were able
to get our careers underway and purchased our first home. Then the news came. The only thing I ever knew I really wanted
since I was a little girl was impossible for us. There is no way we can have biological
children together. Devastated but still
ready to start a family, we signed up the next day for international
adoption.
As I said earlier, we finally were blessed with two
beautiful boys, but God led us down a completely different path than when we
first started out; our boys are privately adopted from right here in my own
home state. The journey seemed so
long. Through those years, I was
beginning to wonder if becoming a mother would ever happen at all. I felt this sense of being trapped for lack
of better words. The stress of it all
revealed some cracks in our marriage. My
life felt out-of-control. When I was around
mature women telling of their own baby stories, I felt left out. When I would be giving gifts to friends at their
baby showers, I would be sitting there wondering if I will ever be on the
receiving end. I constantly had this
gnawing sense of waiting – waiting for my life to really begin. I felt stuck in a career that did not satisfy
my soul and a marriage that was not providing that forever wedded bliss.
Hind sight is 20/20.
Yes, these were the most painful years of my life, but also the most
used to build my character and faith in God.
God was teaching me about real love and gave me His vision for what my
marriage can be. Certainly, I would not
be the Mother I am today if I had not gone through that experience and time of
waiting. I do not take any of the glory
for any proud parent moments that come my way.
I am a Mother only by God’s grace and through His perfect plan and
timing. I know that God is true to His Word
when he says nothing is impossible with God.
Today, I am a proud stay-at-home Mom and feel very blessed
to be able to do that. Although I do have
aspirations to rejoin the working world at some point, I now realize my true value
and worth at home with all my efforts as both a wife and mother. And, that is enough. Oh yeah, that “tom boy” that I told you about
is still inside me too and I feel right at home playing every day with my boys. I get to go out and play kick ball and ride
bikes. Life may not be so carefree being
on the responsible end of the stick, but it sure is fun! I am relishing these days and each and every
moment while my children are small, getting in all the hugs and kisses I can
because I know all too soon I will be sending them off. I want to prepare them for all of life’s
challenges. Even with all my mistakes
and failures (past and present), I know God, who is our perfect parent, is watching
over them. I will have done my job well
when my children learn to place their trust in Him too. I know my boys will go through their own
growing pains, but I can trust that God’s hand will guide them and make clear
His magnificent plans that He does have in store – just as He did for me. Yes, my boys came to me by His hand and they
belong to Him. They were never mine to
keep.
Thank you for reading my story, and may God
bless you on your own journey
