Once you're a parent you want to give your child everything~ well maybe not literally or materialistically but most of us have a desire to try to provide our kids with as many life experiences as possible. This leads me to the idea of the annual family vacation. I remember my Mom (single & on a budget) taking us on road trips to the Indiana dunes and all across the great state of Illinois (Galena being our favorite quaint lil town!) And when we visited our Dad, he usually took us camping. Those were our family vacations and they are memories and experiences I look back with fondness & I would never trade. To this day, I've never been to Florida-gasp (though I have been to nearly every other state). And if it weren't for that "parental" pressure I feel all around me to take my kids to Disney Land (by all the rest of you who just went, are going, or have gone 3 times already and your oldest is only 5!) I frankly could careless if I ever stepped foot in that state! But I digress... Ok ok, I really would like to take my kids on a get-a-way vacation to a fabulous & fantasy destination like Disney but the bottom line is...ITS EXPENSIVE. Its expensive to go anywhere, over night, out of state, for multiple days with a family of 4 or more. I honestly don't know how people do it (and do it without adding debt?)...or more importantly, WHY they do it?
In the scheme of your child's life...a good parent should ask yourself: what are the most important things I want my child to experience? That they spent time as a family? That they have quality educational experiences? That they feel loved? That they have a sense of purpose? This list may be endless but try to narrow it down to 4 or 5.
I try to parent keeping these in mind and thus, the choices I make on behalf of myself & my family also reflect these values. Since money & time do not grown on trees in my yard, I'll gladly chose a stay-cation this year...and next...and likely the ones after that. Especially if it means less stress on our family budget & money put towards a more important goal! Don't get me wrong...vacations are GREAT & usually well deserved breaks for the routine of usual life. I would love nothing else but to "go on vacation." I'm just not sold that the Disney type vacations are exactly where we(my family) need to be spending our money. Last I looked it was going to cost us upwards of 55K to send the kids through (private) school til high school only to spend that much on each of them during their last 4 years. I know that during these years they will get quality experiences & a quality education. I know they will feel loved & be cared for by their teachers & peers. I know they will develop a sense of purpose. Their education will be an invaluable investment. The kind worth making sacrifices such as those annual get-a-way vacays to fabulous & fantasy destinations. I know this from experience. And I know for a fact that while I "think" my kids will be missing out on the magic of Disney or swimming with dolphins or a cruise or animal safari, etc...they'll survive (like I did) if they never do end up there. So while I'm happy for those of you who had a vacation of a lifetime today, I'll be a happy parent every day of my children's lives for giving them this educational opportunity. Parental pressure can be squashed by focusing on your own parental values & goals. Had it not been for my education & how my own parents chose to spend our family vacations, I would not be the person I am today. Did Disney (or whatever get-a-way vacation you had) do this for you?
And super kudos to those of you who have made sacrifices or by the grace of good fortune are able to go on fabulous get-a-ways AND provide the very best for your kids in every aspect of of their lives!!
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Monday, May 21, 2012
Our Children's Virtual Life
Its has been a while since I've posted a blog, not for lack of topics but because I have a pinched nerve that runs from my neck all the way down my right arm, ending in my thumb. It's nearly impossible for me to be at a computer for very long even with a perfect posture! So, tonight's post will mostly be food for thought on a topic that is causing me to do some tweaking in terms of what I post on-line about my kids (stories, photos, milestones, etc).
By now, most of us are aware of YouTube and have likely watched many a video of Sesame Street or cute kittens! We've also likely watched or heard in the news of videos of kids doing amazing things, silly things, embarrassing things, and so on! You may have even posted your own videos, photos, stories, blurbs of your kid(s) on any of the numerous websites, social network sites, etc. In addition, I've noticed many parents have created facebook pages/accnts(?) for their children...who are not yet officially "of age" to be using sites like facebook. (as an aside, I'm not on twitter, myspace, and whatever else exits out there to know what parents have been doing on behalf of their kids).
Here is the realization that I've recently come to... Parents are basically creating their children's virtual life without their permission.
From the time they are born and we post those hospital photos (I'm guilty here) and every single part of their life thereafter (at least until they are somewhere in their teens and they beg us to stop due to embarrassment or because their future employer really does search the net to decide who to hire.) For me, I was thinking this is a great way to "document" my kids life...especially since my own parents didn't place much emphasis on that area on my behalf. But when does this cross the line? Could our kids sue us later for posting their images without their expressed written consent? ok, I'm being funny...but I don't mean to be!
Some Parents may not post a lot about their kids for "safety" reasons...Lord knows there is a predator on every corner these days. Parents should take precautions when posting anything about their kids whether its making sure your privacy settings are up to date, or the content of your postings do not contain information that can trace a child's whereabouts, identity, etc. You can post photos that aren't clear enough to see their face, etc. I"m not advocating that Parents completely refrain from sharing their kids lives on the internet but we NEED to think about what we are doing!
It is my opinion that parents should refrain from posting embarrassing video, photos, stories that will forever haunt their kids, belittle, or cause anxiety when they get older! Parents can share via email to select friends & family instead of posting for all 150+ fb friends to see. Or even us the old fashion method of just verbally telling people "You won't believe what Johnny just did!"... I guarentee it will have the same effect but with a lot less scarring! What you put "out there" in cyberspace on behalf of your kid, is going to be there for a very long time, keep that in mind!
The Good Parent is going to make more of an effort to respect their child who will one day be grown (by the grace of God), respect them enough not to flood their virtual life with anything that will cause them harm in the long run, especially if its to cause a laugh at their expense now.
By now, most of us are aware of YouTube and have likely watched many a video of Sesame Street or cute kittens! We've also likely watched or heard in the news of videos of kids doing amazing things, silly things, embarrassing things, and so on! You may have even posted your own videos, photos, stories, blurbs of your kid(s) on any of the numerous websites, social network sites, etc. In addition, I've noticed many parents have created facebook pages/accnts(?) for their children...who are not yet officially "of age" to be using sites like facebook. (as an aside, I'm not on twitter, myspace, and whatever else exits out there to know what parents have been doing on behalf of their kids).
Here is the realization that I've recently come to... Parents are basically creating their children's virtual life without their permission.
From the time they are born and we post those hospital photos (I'm guilty here) and every single part of their life thereafter (at least until they are somewhere in their teens and they beg us to stop due to embarrassment or because their future employer really does search the net to decide who to hire.) For me, I was thinking this is a great way to "document" my kids life...especially since my own parents didn't place much emphasis on that area on my behalf. But when does this cross the line? Could our kids sue us later for posting their images without their expressed written consent? ok, I'm being funny...but I don't mean to be!
Some Parents may not post a lot about their kids for "safety" reasons...Lord knows there is a predator on every corner these days. Parents should take precautions when posting anything about their kids whether its making sure your privacy settings are up to date, or the content of your postings do not contain information that can trace a child's whereabouts, identity, etc. You can post photos that aren't clear enough to see their face, etc. I"m not advocating that Parents completely refrain from sharing their kids lives on the internet but we NEED to think about what we are doing!
It is my opinion that parents should refrain from posting embarrassing video, photos, stories that will forever haunt their kids, belittle, or cause anxiety when they get older! Parents can share via email to select friends & family instead of posting for all 150+ fb friends to see. Or even us the old fashion method of just verbally telling people "You won't believe what Johnny just did!"... I guarentee it will have the same effect but with a lot less scarring! What you put "out there" in cyberspace on behalf of your kid, is going to be there for a very long time, keep that in mind!
The Good Parent is going to make more of an effort to respect their child who will one day be grown (by the grace of God), respect them enough not to flood their virtual life with anything that will cause them harm in the long run, especially if its to cause a laugh at their expense now.
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